Make sure you enlarge the picture, to read the caption and the comment!
So there is a girl on Facebook, who used to be my friend, but due to some circumstances, I decided to unfriend her. Which doesn’t mean that I don’t have access to her wall posts and status updates. Now the ESL teacher in me will never comprehend how she scored an interpreter’s position for one of the charity organizations. I am going to post some of what she wrote and you will see why I consider her to be an embarrassment to all hard working interpreters out there, and how she has made a mockery of the English language. Also, I am glad her privacy settings are low.
1. “you would not believe I skated for a hour – I didn`t fall down and I had left Skating ring and on the way home Iess than 10 min I fell down twice!!! I bit you in falling))))”
2. “We will find her next time and tell hew how badly her behavior was)))”
3.”was it in Moscow))) look cute))))”
4. “When I was studing English I had to read book of 300pages and I knew all about English grammer and fonetics))) and now I am studding Chines and my book now – 1280 pages))) Good luck)))”
5. “I have problems with the DVD that you gave me)))) and I can`t upload more without somedays)))”
6.”actually I think you were the Best and Sasha was awson)))”
7. “I write it for you now in English))) I Have just come from Moscow and my room now is like a garage – full of Christmas presents)))) I can`t wait till Christmas to give it to people)))I hope I will come to the States this summer if God wants)”
8. “It is so great idea to take pics…”
9. “привет друг)))) я хочу squrrel and открытка Beaty Ireland!!! it is 2 different things))))
first 2 words – corret russian”
10. “I tried to use this style in my studding – it is working!! WOW I leart much more this time)))”
For all of you ESL learners out there, remember that most of the Social Networking sites, and phones have SPELL CHECK nowadays. But this is more for laughs and giggles. I didn’t want to waste time correcting all of her mistakes, but last night I couldn’t hold it in anymore, so I corrected the first status/comment, and she commented back saying that she knew she had made those mistakes, and thanked me for correcting them, promising to remember how to spell everything correctly. I, then, suggested tutoring her. Remind you this girl gets paid for interpreting.
I am not the one with cancer, my grandmother is. She’s had it since 1997. I was 11 in 1997, just started going to church. I was in 5th grade. I loved Sunday School, I knew all Bible Stories.
My grandmother has never been that much of a supporter for me. She’s always criticized me, I was never good enough. I was put down on a daily basis.
Before my parents split up my dad’s mom was my favorite Grandma, but after the divorce my grandmother started rubbing it in my face – the divorce, and the fact that the Grandma I loved didn’t care about me anymore. Imagine how I felt.
She was pissed when I started going to church – PISSED. Sometimes she would yell at me, for no apparent reason. I kept going. I was raised at that church and I am extremely grateful and thankful to all the people who contributed to my life.
When I was getting C’s at school I was looked down upon, I had to do better, and if I didn’t know something, the question was always the same – Who is going to know?
I remember when I was born grandmother said she won’t help my mom watch me, though a lot of grandparents do that in Russia (it’s a cultural thing). She worked till the age of 75.
Two years ago was when we found out she had cancer. I was living in New Jersey then. All my trips to the US were my getaway. Of course she was always hysterical when it was time for me to leave, or go get a visa, or do anything US related.
Now she can’t walk, she is dying from stage 4 cancer, and I am wiping her ass, cooking her meals, washing her blood and shit stained sheets, watching her pick her nose, giving her shots, changing her diapers.
Today my grandpa went to the bank, two random boys walked him home, one of them tried hitting on me. He is what I refer to as Russian Bydlo (русское быдло). FML
One of my ESL students has recently performed in a play. I think it’s very important for a teacher to encourage their students’ interests. Here is a video from the play.
Another student is web designer, here is a link to her web-site, where you can see her work.
I hope your students are as gifted and talented as mine!
Since it’s Valentine’s Day today, I decided to blog about our first date. Something that happened over 3 1/2 years ago in Minneapolis.
We went walking around the city after he picked me up from my friends’ house. I remember the excitement, the thrill, because what i was about to experience was the best date of my life, with a man I am getting married to in less than 5 months. So to all of you who are still single – first date makes an everlasting impression.
We didn’t do anything special, went to the river front, passed by the library, and the building that changes colors. Took pictures by the river, it was too dark and all you can see are our faces and a thin string of lights in the background.
We walked through the skyline, and I was absolutely amazed at the beauty of the city from the “glass tubes” that I’ve never seen before.
We passed a street musician, who was playing the saxophone, something that my fiance can play as well, and we stood listening to his music for a while. There were sirens in the background, and it felt almost like a movie!
Then he took me home, 99 red balloons was playing on the radio.
The first date of a relationship of a lifetime!
It’s extremely difficult not to be stressed these days. People face stress at work, at home, on the way to work, on the way home, at the grocery store, at the bank, and all the other lovely places.
A lot of us are trying to make our homes a stress free zone, where we can finally sit back & relax.
Unfortunately my home has been filled with stress since last Friday. My grandmother, who is sick with cancer fell on the bathroom floor and couldn’t get up by herself. With the help of my dear friend Erin, I was able to carry her to bed. A couple hours later, after making several phone calls and consulting with a doctor, the ambulance arrived. My grandma got a painkiller shot, all I got was a stress filled life.
How do you live with someone with cancer? That was the question I was asking myself before I moved in with my grandparents again. How do you take care of someone who now can’t get up from bed, wash themselves and go to the bathroom by themselves? That is the question I had to answer in a matter of two days.
I learned to give shots, change diapers on an elderly person (trust me it’s different from changing them on a child, which I have done more than once!), disinfect surfaces and get rid of odors.
My grandma weigh 20 more pounds than me. Turns out weight watching can be a foe for some people. I never let my weight go over 120lb. I am at 115lb now. It’s impossible for me to pick her up, lift her, move her. I can barely put a diaper on her, and changing sheets is a game of tug of war, that I am losing desperately.
Drug store associates know me and give me discounts, grocery store clerks sigh when they see me leave with two heavy bags of food, my neighbor told me that maybe she will get better?
My grandpa’s ideas of a portable toilet are endless, the one we used before failed us today, literally. I was taking a shower after my 45 minute workout, and as I was getting out of the shower I heard my grandma falling, and screaming for my grandpa. Neither of us could get there soon enough. My grandpa has a hard time walking, he is obese and comes in a package with an armchair and a television set. We managed to pull my grandma up with a help of a towel that we put under her arms.
I have been face to face with fear this week, with insanity, with regret, remorse, grief. It is all in my grandmother’s eyes.
I am not quitting my job though, neither am I cutting back the hours, but every morning when I wake up the realization of what I have to go through today and it makes my day bad.
My mother who lives in Moscow keeps saying that she’ll take a week off, that she’ll take 2 weeks off, I don’t see the point. I simply asked her to come for the weekend, so that I can have a break.
Another thing that my mom likes talking about is how long does my grandma have left. That type of conversation can of course be easily interrupted by her pondering about what type of dress to wear to her former colleague’s Birthday Party. Last night all she could talk about were her new artificial nails. All my attempts to tell her those are tacky went down the drain.
Monday I woke up with strange bumps under my tongue and one on the side of my leg. Knowing that the cause of those was stress I quickly put Cortisone on the latter, and hoped the ones under my tongue would simply pop, which they did:)
I am off to make dinner now, wish me luck!
These are a few things I wanted to talk about today.
Shopping lists are a necessity, esp. if you are OCD like me, but ever since I moved in with my grandparents to help them out, they have become someone else’s responsibility, namely, my grandma’s. I remember making the very first shopping list for my fiance & I when we were driving up to where he went to college. See now he doesn’t eat very healthy & he doesn’t cook, so we had to buy a lot of things, which ended up costing us around 65 bucks! Pretty neat, for 2 people, for about 2 weeks. What do we eat? Good question. I am one of those people who saves magazine cut outs. I love the ones that tell you how to cook a dinner for 4 for $2 – $5, there is even a cook book that tells you how to do it! Fish, chicken, pasta, lasagna, it’s all on the menu! Cookies, doughnuts, cake, ice-cream… Now my grocery lists are filled with products I don’t necessarily eat, but that I need to buy for others. I am learning to put them first.
Threats are not necessarily a good thing, and they don’t always work, but for some reason playing the Jewish card has always worked for me!
World Market, just wait, here I come with all my orders for all the beautiful housing decorations that you offer!
There are 2 most common disorders out there – sleeping & eating. And I have had both. My eating disorder caused by stress caused my weight to drop down to 110 lb. My sleeping disorder caused by my work schedule increased my coffee addiction. I love my disorders, and who wouldn’t? I lost weight & I went back to drinking the most popular drink out there!
Now disorders caused by stress, make my face flourish & not in a good way! Thank God there is a solution for that, so I’ve been managing my life & my looks pretty well.
Last night was “Hello sleeping disorder” all over again. Last time I had it was when I was in college before my senior thesis presentation. I would wake up at 3 am & stay awake for a few hours, eventually I would dose off, but would have to wake up soon, so it actually tortured me.
Now my grandma has cancer, and I have recently moved in, to take care of her & grandpa. She gets treatment in a different city, so she leaves the house at 2.30 am once or twice a week, last night I wasn’t far from being asleep at that time. I was browsing the blogs, watching some videos, twittering, you name it – I did it! Around 3 am I decided to go back to sleep, but the realization of having to wake up in 2 1/2 hours to get ready to teach my 6 am class left me hanging. I got an hour of sleep last night.
What am I getting out of this? Sleeping pills!
I have noticed, that I started doing what I was always doing best – nothing! I also procrastinate, screw up my schedule & stay up till 2 or 3 am. I watch everything, there are so many shows out there, and I watch all of them. Correction, I watch the ones, that are either funny, or sad, or have something in common with my life.
The Big Bang Theory – my fiance is a geek, and he turned me into one, so I can relate to Penny & Leonard.
The Big C – my grandma has cancer, stage 4, that show is my emotional outlet, I cry when I watch it. No one understands, but Cathy!
The Millionaire Matchmaker – I learn constructive criticism.
Hellcats – speaks to my inner cheerleader.
The Office – everyone watches it, and I have driven through Scranton.
Keeping up with the Kardashians – They study Kim’s case in Harvard business school, I was accepted to an Ivy League school!
Modern Family – reminds me why I don’t want to have kids!
The Simpsons – I have a poster with the most famous quotes from there!
Family Guy – Love Mila Kunitz.
That 70’s Show – Donna (Laura Prepon) is partially Russian.
Sex & the City – Love Manhattan scenery, watch it to recognize places, and then yell out – I was there!
Cougar Town – Love Cortney Cox, esp. her hair!
Ancient Aliens – Have to watch something on History Channel, right?
Firefly – gotta watch a sci-fi show once in your life, even if it is during Passover in Florida with the people you don’t really like.
And a whole lot of other stuff!
Have you ever felt like you are an actress? And they are filming your life? But they are not actually telling you that? Though you have random soundtracks running through your head as you walk down the street, or visualize the lighting of a certain scene? Anyways this is how I feel. And I have been feeling like this since I was 18.
I am no movie star, not even close. I am an ESL teacher. I drink coffee like an addict, I watch too much television, I am madly in love with my fiance & wedding planning is my favorite thing to do. I work from home, some of my students are famous, some are just influential, but they are all fun & nice people, that I will tell you more about as the time goes by.
I love yoga, Kate Potter is a real life saver for me. Not because yoga has drastically changed my life, but because that woman came up with a work out thats doable & affordable.
I cook, I bake and I am 150% confident I am the best at it, so confident, that I want to open my own bake shop, or invest in one, but these are long term plans.
I love make-up, Twiggy is an inspiration, but by no means do I look like her, or even attempt to.
So in my opinion, these are all the good reasons for me to have my own show, but as for now, I am enjoying Being Erica, and so should you!