When you’ve been in a long distance relationship for as long as my husband and I prior to our marriage, (I am pretty sure there are very few of you, and some of you who are reading this are shaking your heads saying – Long Distance Relationships are a bad idea), you are going to understand what I went through going to Fargo last Monday.
You see for the longest time ever whenever we would go on the highway I would think we were going to the airport. For about two months I kept on thinking that I should be leaving on a Sunday! I even had the urge to pack. Old habits die hard, so eventually, after being married for 4 months, I am finally starting to break the pattern. I even agreed with one of the characters on “How I met Your Mother” when he said that long distance relationships aren’t a good idea. And even though ours worked out, it was difficult.
So last week when my friend Kara asked me to go to Fargo with her, and I said yes, I had this anxiety overwhelm me, and the only question in my head was – What is Sam gonna do? Now you all know my husband is not helpless, he survived college on pop-tarts and pizza, but I was still worried. So the night before I made him a big pot of Sloppy Joes, packed him a lunch for Monday… Oh yeah and did I tell you I was coming back Tuesday?
In the end it all went well, I was busy helping Kara look at apartments, went shopping for Christmas presents, and ate so much pizza and cactus bread at Pizza Ranch, that I want to go back there and have more
I did miss Sam and he missed me, and it was a good experience for both of us. I realized that I can be away from him for a few couple days, and he could be on his own, but we both realized that we do like being around each other more than being apart!
I really hope I am not the only one out there who has this disorder! Let me know how you fight yours
xoxo,
ZhenyAH!
PS. I am seriously excited to celebrate Christmas with him this year, it’ll be our first year as husband and wife! YAY!
Please take your dating problems to a shrink! They love you, because you pay them! Don’t come to me! Just because I am getting ready to get married doesn’t mean I can give you an insight on your relationship. Especially when I hear about it for the first time. And, oh, it’s been going on for 3 months? Really? Wow! And I am only hearing about this now why? Because you need dating advice? I am no dating guru, I haven’t dated in over 2 years, I am in a relationship, and that’s different.
Now here is the best part:
Or the whole story I should say. My friend is addicted to online dating. Yes, addicted is a strong word, but let me explain! You know when those Victoria Secret catalog come in the mail, and you know that you are not going to order anything from there, because the actual store is a couple blocks away, but you look ANYWAYS? That’s what online dating is. It’s a catalog of men/women single/married/divorced/widowed looking for/interested in/hoping to find. Check the box here, select a category there, renew your subscription, pay here, pay there… FUN! Isn’t it? E-harmony and Match.com, I will leave you alone, I will also let all these Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon dating websites be, your religious beliefs are yours and yours alone! Now some smart ass created free dating websites for the cheapskates out there. Who have we got there? Illegal immigrants, drug addicts, hookers (who are now flocking to FB by the way, so be careful, or get all excited, I don’t know which category you fall under), Russians who don’t speak any English, Russians who speak very little English, Russians who live in Brooklyn (I know not all of you are like that, but nevertheless…), my favorite category of people known as “Bydlo” (cattle) etc., etc., etc…
Now back to my friend! She goes on a dating web site, sets up a profile, and starts getting messages from all these guys! She narrows it down to 3! Top 3 potential dates. I believe goes on all these dates (this is the part where I am going to let my imagination soar, because as I’ve mentioned in the beginning, I found out she was dating someone only because she was seeking relationship advice, from me? Ha!). Then New Year comes around, she goes to a party, a stereotypical love, or should I say lust, triangle shapes up! She likes one guy, but he isn’t that interested, but we have a candidate number 2, who is very interested, but oh wait, you are not interested in him, well too bad! I saw pictures of both of these guys, MEH! My new stove looks better! (Yes, I am harsh, but there is no one out there more handsome than my fiance! Yesterday my friend Erin came over, and apparently there is some new hot guy on the music scene in Russia, who is actually Romanian – shit happens – and is very hot. One look at him – Uggo! Ears – too big, mouth – too big, and crooked. Well you know me, once I have decided, I’ve decided, so don’t come to me, asking if this or that guy is hot, because most likely he is NOT!)
Now I don’t know how my friend narrowed her choice down to only one guy, but she did! And they mutually agreed to delete their profiles from the dating website. 3 months go by, and she decides to check whether he is registered there or not – DING DING DING We have a WINNER! Let me introduce you to some serious trust issues! Have you met them before? But – oh no – here comes a shocker – his profile is up!
So what does she do? She FBs me, tells me she is going to break up with him, says that sometimes he doesn’t text her during the day. Well maybe he doesn’t, but it’s NYC, people are busy. No one goes out on dates every night, people have jobs, you know!
And now you want me to give you advice in this situation? Here is what I can give you – a finger! Lovingly, very lovingly!
PS. My knowledge about dating websites is based on the TV commercials, other media advertisements, and stories of people who met on line. I didn’t meet my fiance on line.
PPS. What’s that relatively new dating website? Zyngo or something, the one that says fall in like? Yeah, this line alone should stop you from dating on line ever again, you will have more luck on Craigslist!
I have been in a long distance relationship for over 2,5 years now. My best friend was in one for about the same amount of time. My good friend Alla from New Jersey was in one too. Lera Loeb was in a long distance relationship for Christ’s sake! If you don’t know who she is and you are living in NYC – shame on you, here is the fix for your ignorance
While brain-storming ideas for this post, I was reading some supposingly inspirational quotes, and looking for some visuals.
Man, did I get depressed! I think I was that depressed during the first 2 weeks after I was back in Russia. Some of the pictures even made me question the reality of LDRs. Do other people really see them like that? Like it’s a light at the end of the tunnel? Do we, people involved in LDRs, have some kind of a new disorder, do we need therapy, and a way out?
First of all you only get into an LDR if you WANT to be in an LDR. If you are blackmailed, forced or ultimatumed into one – get out of the relationship period.
Second, LDRs are all different. During the first 2 years of mine, my now fiance and I lived in the same country! Now we are in an International LDR, and well – that was one of the things I really wanted him to do before we got married – See my home country, and he got to use his Passport for the first time, experienced real jet-leg, and a lot of other fun things! Unlike Lera Loeb, I am not a mail order bride.
I have met only one mail order bride, she was my friend’s mom. And, unfortunately, her first husband didn’t work out, now she is on husband number 2, or three, if you count the one she had in her home country. What is my personal opinion? I have nothing against them, if this is how they choose to find happiness – so be it. Determination and Dedication are the DD’s of LDR (and no, I am not talking about Dunkin Dounuts here )
Just be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it all! And I am not only talking to the men now…
but also to women!
Now I am sure you’ve seen this movie, if you are a girl!
If you google Long Distance Relationship, you will end up with about 4,100,000 results (0.08 seconds). That includes – definitions, descriptions, advice, quotes, men’s side of the story, women’s side of the story, and a lot of other not very interesting, and useless information. As I have told you earlier, it made me depressed! I will have to double dose myself with Chelsea Lately just to get over this!
Here is my advice: DONT GET INTO A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP JUST TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP.
Don’t get into a long distance relationship because you really like this one person and you saw someone make it work, and you think you can make it work. YOU MUST BE SURE!
Before you get yourself into a LDR ask yourself this – Do I see myself marrying this person? Can I live the rest of my life with him/her? Is he the one I see standing at the altar? Is she the one I see walking down the aisle?
Be ready for time difference, travel expenses, seeing each other every 2-3 months (this is actually the time I would recommend you maintain in between the trips/visits).
Now you are probably wondering, why is this crazy girl not talking about love? Seriously, when talking about LDRs I think it’s pretty self-explanatory!
What makes me a LDR expert? I am in one, I believe it’s enough!
Love and lace flowers
Xoxo
PS. All my friends are happily married to their Long Distance Relationship parters. Their marriage is not long distance!
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