Category Archives: Humor

HELP! Early stages of hoarding?

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I think I have a problem!

Seriously! Look at these pictures:

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- Earth to dining room table…

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- Husband’s desk

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- Our living room carpet looks like this 6 days out of the week…

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- Console table…

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- Crafts central

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- Random piles of stuff all over the bedroom floor

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- Closet space

And I know exactly what it is – I am lazy, I don’t like to clean, I don’t like to pick up, for some reason I want to save every scrap of paper, every ribbon, every magazine.

I keep telling myself that once we move into a house, it’ll get better, but who am I kidding – it won’t.

But nothing motivates me, I guess I am just a slob. And it’s the availability and accessibility of products here. I can go to a store, spend some money, get more stuff, but it won’t solve the clutter solution!

I have recently started an Etsy store, and one of the main reasons was to downsize my vintage collection. And yes, I have made some sales, but what’s 1-2 purses compared to a walk-in closet full of supplies, patterns, coats?

Yes, let’s talk about coats. I have an obsession with coats, I think I have about 10 of them! That’s the problem thrifters have – you walk into Savers or Goodwill and see an awesome coat say for $30, and of course you want to pick it up, because in your head you are already putting together outfits, and creating InstaCollages! And at this point you don’t realize that you have another dozen coats waiting to be worn, photographed, pinned, instagrammed, facebooked, etc.

Maybe I just need to vent, but I also function better, when more people know about my issue. I don’t need anyone to hold me accountable, I need to publicly tell everyone that modern day social networks are giving me an ADD, and that my real life is starting to go god knows where!

It’s a 1 bedroom apartment for crying out loud, how difficult could it be to clean?

So here you have it, I fessed up, and am now going to go and vigorously clean the apartment, making several trips to the dumpster!

Have a great day everyone,

Z

About these ads

That’s Minneapolis for ya!

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Apparently if you want to have a good time in Minneapolis, you call a travel agent:

Milk starts at 9 gallons at CVS!

And Calhoun Bike Rental knows just what to put between your legs!

 With all my love from Minneapolis,

Z


A Brick for a Face

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Well maybe not for a face, but for a last name – the article about “I’m too pretty all other girls are jealous” (yes, I am quoting Jackie /Mila Kunis/ from That 70′s Show), by Samantha Brick has caused a completely different effect than what the author had hoped to. Especially in the US. They even discussed her on the Today show.

Interested in her persona and all the Twitter jokes, I didn’t want to judge, but form my own opinion instead. So I went and found the original article, where the author basically complains about the hardships she had to go through while dealing with other women in her every day life.

I can relate to the fact that I was “dumped” by oh so many girlfriends/best friends and that since about the age of 19 Sam has been my best friend! Thumbs up if your husband is your best friend as well!

You know they say – it’s important to learn to love yourself – and Samantha showed us just how to do that, and if you think you are prettier than her – good for you, but I’ve learned never to compare!

But just for this quote – “I don’t drink or smoke, I work out, even when I don’t feel like it, and very rarely succumb to chocolate” – I want to give her a thumbs up or a high five, whichever one is more appropriate in Britain/France!

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html#ixzz1rBVeASYW

Have a fabulous day everyone!

xo,

Z

Making fun of the 90′s, because 90′s were FUN

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Presented below is a visual list of items that were popular in the 90′s, needless to say – I am glad they stayed in the 90′s! And if you grew up in Eastern Europe, you have to recognize some of these!

The hideous hair ties

I don’t even have the courage to call it a scrunchie, this is a hideous cut out of a clown’s wig, at least that’s what it seems like to me today, but back in the day these were extremely popular. Perfect for Gay Pride, don’t you think?

Titanic Leo was everywhere, and so was Kate

 on T-shirts and Buttons

 Leggings were also popular

 Plus there were fuzzy sweaters and plastic headbands

 There was a ton of other stuff, and no I am not nostalgic, I just like making fun of the 90s, because 90s were FUN!

   

Vodka Caption Contest!

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Russian Family according to the Americans:

— Honey, I am home!
— Why are you so late?
— Our bear twisted his ankle — I had to give him vodka.
— Everyone sit down! Let’s have some vodka.
— Mom, I’m gonna go play with the bear.
— Alright, but drink some vodka first.
— Where is Grandpa?
—He’s been standing in line to get coupons, so that he can get more coupons for the past 2 weeks.

— Good thing he drank some vodka before he left. You shouldn’t rest on your laurels either – go have some vodka.

— Alright, son, make sure to write that KGB report in the evening! And on your way home, please buy some vodka, because we are running out.
— Honey, it’s too hot in here. Can you please turn the nuclear reactor off?
— Let me finish my vodka and I will turn it off. And you go play the balalaika (aka banjo).

Inspired by this joke that I read on my friend’s FB wall and that was also emailed to me by my other friend, I have decided not to only translate that joke, but to illustrate it as well! Due to the fact that my final paper in college was all about stereotypes that Russians have about Americans and vica versa, this makes it even more relatable and funny for me!

 

I hope you don’t take it too seriously, enjoy the joke and make captions for the pictures!

Xoxo,

ZhenyAH!

 

Highlights of my Day! (SHOES, duh!)

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Number 1: I got my Minnesota driver’s license (not in the mail yet, but I got it). For those of you who don’t know – to get a license in this wonderful land of 10,000 lakes, you gotta take the Permit Test! Wha??? Yes, you heard me. So I studied, studied, studied, and viola – passed it! I was also excited about getting a new picture on my license, and have my weight change from 120 to 117 lb! The lady at the DMV and I have also decided that my eye color is Grey! Took us a while to figure it out, she was going to put it down as blue, but my eyes are anything, but… Well anyways, once the license actually comes in the mail, I’ll let you all take a look :)

Number 2: Thrifting! I totally planned that! You know me! After I was done at the DMV, which was located on Lake and Chicago, I went east to check out the local Savers. On the way there, though, I got sidetracked to St. Vincent’s thrift store and got the most amazing $4 pair of shoes you can get!

The coolest thing is that they are made in Brazil, so I wanted to use this moment and say hi to all of my Brazilian friends out there! You girls are a ton of fun!

And last but not least: Sam and I made Peanut Butter/Hershey Hugs Blossoms – aren’t they tasty looking?

I hope you had a Fantabulous day! I love you all, and thanks for reading :)

 

 

PS. I did make it to Savers and it didn’t impress me much. I will do a more detailed review later in one of my upcoming posts, where I will talk about the most popular thrift stores in Minneapolis! So stay tuned!

 

Twilight: Team Zhenya!

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Team Edward, team Jacob, ah, screw this! Flannel should also be worn by lumberjacks, and lumberjacks alone. Or normal people, at a lumberjack party! The engagement ring was more of a fashion statement, and I am glad mine isn’t like this!

Now after having drunk a few glasses of sparkling wine, and watching Twilight I found myself in the streets of a small Russian town, walking home from a REAL girls night! I have walked home late at night before, living in NYC, I could walk all the way from subway on 79th and Broadway to 82nd and Central Park West! Hell I walked all the way to the subway from meat packing district, where girls get raped, killed or sold into slavery! No wonder they have their night clubs there. What was that one called? Amnesia? They still send me email updates :) Anyways, I came up with a perfect idea (note: all my ideas are perfect after having some you know what!) – if anyone is harassing you in the street, put on your Edward face, don’t blink, and tell the person who is after you that you want his blood. Man, I really wanted to try this gig out on someone tonight, but everyone seemed to be going their own way, and nobody was out there to get me! But if I learned anything after watching Twilight, this was it!

Happy weekend everyone!

PS. This weekend’s coming up posts: A church wedding and DIY Vera Bradley like tote bag! Stay tuned!

You ain’t Russian if you don’t eat no Potatoes!

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Being an ESL teacher I learn a lot of interesting facts from my students. For example, why they go to strip dance lessons at 9 am, what games they play on the XBOX, how they day dream about rescuing all the homeless animals in the world!

And their love for POTATOES!

Raw potatoes

Sweet potatoes……YUCK!

Heart shaped potatoes 

Pink potatoes

Cartoon potatoes

 

Couch potatoes 

Mashed Potatoes

Baked potatoes

Baked potatoes

Baked Potatoes

Fried potatoes

Fried potatoes

Bikini wearing potatoes

Faced and Faceless potatoes

French Fries Potatoes

Idaho Potatoes (DUH!)

No comments potatoes

Vodka Potatoes

While writing this post I learned that there is Russian Potato Bread and potatoes called Russian Banana Potatoes! Live and learn everyone, live and learn!

Before there was XKCD and Cyanide and Happiness…

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There were these comics that I loved as a child!

1. This one is about a guy called Filutka by Lengren. Filutka is an old man with very little hair. Every strip about him consists of 3 pictures, and the last of the 3 is always on the next page, so you are kept guessing – Whats Going to Happen Next! until you turn the page. As I was writing this post, I also found a video on YouTube about Prof. Filutka, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Also a shout out to all my Polish friends!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Next one up is a book by Harlufs Bidstrups. I loved his comics! The one I inserted is about a boy who was taking care of his old aunt, who eventually outlived him! The irony of life, isn’t it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. This next one is interesting, it is called The Creation of the World by Jean Effel   published by Politizdat (Political Publishing House). It appealed to the Communist Party of USSR, because of how he portrayed the story of creation, God, Satan, Adam, Angels and here is the twist – there is no Eve!

Adam’s Dream – Adam falls asleep and sees a dream, he dreams that he is all these different things – like ruler of rains, lord of tulips, king of pine trees, etc.

 

 

 

 

 

The Coronation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Now the last one is a collection of Soviet Caricatures. These are more political, anti-Nazi and anti-bourgeoisie, but fun nevertheless.